We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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