You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
