Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
