Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
