I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
