i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Randomize
