I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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