Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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