Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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