So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Randomize
