Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
You made out with two different species that night
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
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