It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Randomize