I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
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