i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
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