I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize