I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Randomize
