Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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