12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
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