he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
