but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Randomize
