I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
