Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
