I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
