Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Randomize
