Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
