We're facebook friends in real life
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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