He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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