i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
