I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
you traded sex for a burrito?
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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