Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
