I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
