stop calling my apartment porn island.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Don't tell me you're on acid again
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
