Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Come see our sink grown plant.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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