we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
