i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize