I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
