I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
