a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
