I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
