So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
