It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
