no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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