remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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