so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
organizing the empties. That sober.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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