I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
two words: eviction party
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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