Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
i can't believe i had my finger in that
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
