idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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