can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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