you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
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