I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Randomize
