no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
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