I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Randomize
