this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
