Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize