Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
