What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
