So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Randomize
