OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Randomize