Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
Welp...herpes.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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