Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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