good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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