There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Still dying that you shit outside
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
