We're like a lot better than the average bears
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
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