apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
