did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
honey bunches of taint.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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