so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
