Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
