8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Did I show you my penis last night?
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
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