You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
