You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Im part way to drunk.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
