dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
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