After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Randomize
