u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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