My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
