Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Randomize
