u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Randomize
